I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
