In the future we'll all be gay
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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