She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize