260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
