Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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