Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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