Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
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I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
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I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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