There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Randomize
