seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I am naked and annoyed.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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