just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
