i permit you to call me
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
