dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
