he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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