try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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