He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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