I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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