he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
