I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
