who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
