Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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