Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
