i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
