There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
