I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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