Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize