Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I cut my penus on the lid.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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