Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize