he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
