I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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