R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
