Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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