im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
