hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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