Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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