Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I DEMAND FORESKIN
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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