Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
