i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
