you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I've blown a few things in my day
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
me + whiskey = a bad person
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
