youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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