he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
