I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
