The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
third nipple confirmed
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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