whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
