Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
