Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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