You don't have asthma, your pregnant
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Randomize
