so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
