oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I have post one night stand depression
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
