i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
