Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
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