pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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