he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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