Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
