i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
